Do you know that around 80% of people have problems with their Self-Confidence?

This article will give you deep insights into understanding Self-Confidence. Here you will find the solution to build your Self-Confidence. Anyone who wants to build or improve his Self-Confidence will be benefited from this article, be it a student, housewife, retired, professional or entrepreneur. Self-confidence is a deep concept as it is not only a word. It is a complete lesson hidden in two words Self & Confidence. Everyone wants to be self-confident and why not because of this speedy and competitive era all organizations and businesses are looking forward to confident candidates and clients. 

We will learn about:

1. What is Self-Confidence?
2. Reasons for not being Self-Confident?
3. What can we lose if we are not Confident?
4. How to build Self-Confidence?
5. Attributes for building Self-Confidence?

What is Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence is a lifetime learned ability to express your feelings without hesitation and fearlessness from the audience’s reaction. This ability empowers you to have better control in your life along with having a sense of communication.

Also, you have to understand very clearly that self-confidence is not an attitude, it’s a lifetime learned ability. An attitude is being controlled by your emotions for example if you are happy, your reaction becomes positive to anything during your happiness but when you are unhappy, your reaction to anything either becomes negative or not interested. While, on the other hand talking about ability, it does not vary with your emotions, for example, if you know how to use a computer means you know it in all the emotions. Though, your performance may vary due to your present state of emotion however ability will still be constant. 

You can also see it as similar to your qualification. If you have completed your degree of graduation, you become a graduate by your qualification, wherever you are in this world you will be called a graduate by your qualification. In the same way, if you have learned self-confidence, you will be confident whether you are in India, the USA, the UK or any other place in this world. 

Hope you have understood the self-confidence. And now let’s understand why many people either are not confident or have a lack of confidence?

Reasons for not being Self-Confident:

1. Your Surrounding – This is one of the most responsible reasons for the lack of confidence in people. The environment you are raised in is very much responsible for what you are today. You must have noticed that a person coming from a job class family ends up choosing a job as his occupation while a person from a business family chooses business as his occupation. What is the difference, it is very simple the surrounding. In the same way, a survey says that a human being listens to thousands of NO until he reaches 18 years of his age. It does not mean that he does not listen to Yes in his life but the numbers of NOs are so high.  Whenever he asks for anything, he gets a simple NO for it. Let’s take a test of it and think about your past or maybe present too and you will be able to find the above-said point of listening to many NOs is true. 

When you were a kid or in your teenage whenever you asked permission for things like:

You – Mom, can I go to the party tonight?

Mom – No

You – Dad can I go for 2 days of trip?

Dad – No

You – Mom, I need a new mobile?

Mom – No

You – Mom, can I go to a movie with my friends?

Mom – No

These many NOs are from a very simple example. Think about your 18 years. These Nos become your attitude and you also develop a habit of saying No to everything. Listening to so many NOs results in negativity and negative people can not be confident about positive occurrences in life. If this NOs situation is not true in your case, you are a lucky one, but this is the real situation for most people.

2. Watching a lot of TV – TV has become essential these days, imagining life without it is not possible but TV is also a source of injecting negativity into you. Majorly telecasted content on TV is sufficient enough to drill negativity in you. If you go to News Channels, you will find the news about riots, war, rapes, murder & political issues etc. If you go to TV serial channels, you will find all the conspiracy happening in one family and the cherry on top is that the conspirator is no one from outside, he or she is one of the family members themselves. You stay around negatives while watching TV and this implants negativity directly into your brain. You also become the same way you see.  Your vision for seeing positivity in life becomes weak. This breaks your morale and confidence. Watching good content on TV for a limited time is good but finding good content on TV is not easy these days.
    

3. Spending a lot of time on Social Media – More than half of the world is using social media but very few people are using it with a vision or growing themselves. Rest all are just using it and Why? Nobody knows it even, the user himself does not know why he or she is on social media. It means many of us to use it meaninglessly. Much time is being wasted on social media by many of us, which kills our work efficacy, pushes us behind the schedule, and teaches us some unethical practices. It also deviates you from your goals in life and this deviation directs your thoughts to unproductive tasks that eventually go up to weakening your self-confidence. If you are one of them who is using social media with no purpose and with no timelines, you know better what you are losing.

What can we lose if we are not confident?

You may not even get anything worthy if you are not confident. Still would like to narrate a real-life incident which will tell you about what we (Our college friend’s group lost for not being confidence) lost for not being confident during our college days.

When I went for my graduation after passing my Senior Secondary School. I did my schooling at a government school. Being from a government school, you can easily guess the level of my confidence and command of the English language. Yes, you are right. I was not confident enough to initiate a conversation with any stranger and if it is talking to a girl so I would prefer to be an escapist. With my low confidence level, I still managed to make some friends in my college and as you know iron attracts iron so my new friends were also like me. In the same year, many other students were also admitted to our college but the point of attraction for many became a very pretty girl. 

She was damn pretty undoubtedly and everyone wanted to make her friend but by looking at her prettiness and command of English we could not even take the courage to talk to her. Like many other students, we also used to look for her but talking to her was not in our capacity because we knew what we are and what she is in terms of confidence and personality. But around after a week, the scene that we saw was not in our imagination even. One of our classmates who was neither a scholar nor handsome was roaming the college campus with that pretty girl. It was dumbstruck for us. Even, we did reject him for being a part of our group. How can she select him as a friend? This scene compelled us for going to that girl and asking what she has seen in him? But our challenge is still in front of us. None of us was confident enough to go to that girl and ask. So, we all (a group of 5 friends) decided to let’s go together. This way the weak confidence of five people will become a little stronger. So, we in a group went to her and started like this:

One of us – Hi, do you know that we also study in the same college?

She – Yes, I know

One of us – If you don’t mind, can you please tell us who is that guy whom you were roaming with?  (We were afraid of her reaction to this question. What if she says who the hell are you to ask it?) But she was nice to us.

She – He is my new friend

One of us – We also wanted to be friends with you? But what did you see in him to make your friend as there are so many other students in this college?

She – It’s been almost 7 days that I have been in college. Nobody came to me and talked. And being a girl my first approach to any fellow boy student would not have looked good. Yesterday, this guy came to me and asked me to be friends with him and I said Ok. 

That day, we practically understood the power of confidence and asking. This takes nothing in asking someone for something. The minimum thing requires is Self-Confidence.

This is one of the funny examples coming from the real-life journey, people lose many things in their lives just because they are not confident. 

Now, let’s move to the most important section of this article.

How To Build Self-Confidence:

As you learn many skills in your life by practising them several times for a long period. Self-confidence also requires practice for one to Be Confident. 

What to practice then for building Self-Confidence? 

Let’s understand this, a student who studies 5 subjects and scores  99% in 4 subjects and scores only 20% in one subject, the overall result of this student will never be PASS with this score. In the same way, we can’t be Confident until we don’t practice or master all the required attributes for being confident. These all attributes are connected. Hence, understanding and learning the attributes of Self-Confidence will be easy.

Attributes for building Self-Confidence are:

1. Your Better Health – Your health is the biggest asset and taking chances with it is not wise. Health broadly has 2 parts: Mental and Physical Health and both of them are equally important when it comes to surviving through life. Mental and physical health are connected but our mental health is more powerful than our physical health. As you know, your confidence also comes from your mental health. Hence, when you are mentally and physically strong, you feel confident and vice-versa. 

“As successful people say, if you rule your mind, you will achieve whatever you desire in your life but if your mind rules you, you most probably lose everything that you have with you.”

Tips for your better health:

1. 1. Doing regular exercise
   2. Following a good diet plan
   3. Listening to positive thoughts
   4. Be in the association of mentally strong people

2. Positivity – Positivity is another important element of anything that we do in our lives. A person who always thinks negative and finds problems in all the solutions can never be confident because of all the negativity that he has stored in his mind. On the other side if a person sees the positivity in everything will be confident. Positivity is not just only limited to our confidence, it is also to our well being and success in our life.

Tips for being positive in life:

1. 1. Practising meditation
   2. Stop procrastination
   3. Start saying No to negative things in your life
   4. Reading good books and spending time with positive-minded people

3. Clear Vision  – Confident people always have a clear vision in their lives. They always know where to go, what to do, what to speak and why they do anything? They know what they are doing and where they tend to reach by their actions. Being aware also helps them to have plans for everything and they are always well prepared. While not or people with a lack of confidence do what comes their way as they don’t plan and this not to plan attitude does not let them succeed in their lives.

Tips to have a clear vision:

1. 1. Start with small goals to set and have a plan to achieve it
   2. Take actions to achieve it and these actions will form a habit of achieving goals
   3. Eventually, this habit becomes a part of your daily routine and helps you decide and see your long-term vision
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   4. Knowledge – Knowledge is the power in this era. This power can be very beneficial if it is used well. Knowledge has been given weightage since ancient times. People with good knowledge are respected and being approached for suggestions and consultations in today’s time as well. Knowledge is essential for good confidence. To possess knowledge of everything is not possible for you but you should possess a good knowledge of your field to be confident with your work. When you speak with the right knowledge or information, your confidence level shows up to its highest degree.

Tips to improve your knowledge:

1. 1. Reading about your work and industry daily
   2. Learning and implementing your industry-related new skills
   3. Spending more time with more knowledgeable people

5. Awareness – A person can’t be confident if he is not aware. Awareness is an important key to being confident. Knowledge also plays an important role in your awareness. Confident people are always aware of what they have around them, what they wear, who is coming their way, what they speak, what they listen even what is important happening in the world. They keep themselves updated with the latest updates and trends.

Tips to be better aware:

1. 1. Reading about important news
   2. Be in the association of people who are growing in their life
   3. Reading books that help you build your new skills

6. Communication – It is said that your confidence is visible in your communication. Communication has nothing to do with one specific language like English, Hindi etc. A lot of people connect communication skills with language skills. Language skill means to be good at a particular language while communication, is to do with sending your message effectively to your listener and getting a response of acknowledgement from them. Communication also involves your body language which we will discuss ahead in this article. Communication does not mean only talking. Listening is the bigger part of communication. Confident people listen more and speak only what makes sense.  If you want to market your skills, product or services, communication is one of the most important skills you need. Here are 4 Tips to improve your communication skills.

Tips to improve your communication:

1. 1. Listening to good speakers also helps you improve your communication
   2. Listening gives you new ideas and an understanding that what you need to speak 
   3. You got 2 ears and 1 mouth because you should listen double what you speak
   4. Practising before you go for any presentation, meeting and interview
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3. 7. Body Language – Body language is an integral part of your personality and communication. Your personality reflects the level of your confidence. You will never like to do a conversation with a person who is not energetic while talking, a person standing or sitting with a dull posture, a person talking without facial expressions and eye contact. Confident people are always full of energy, firm standing or sitting, good facial expressions and good eye contact.

Tips to improve body language:

1. 1. Seeing in the mirror while you are talking to yourself and observing overall body language for improvement
   2. Keeping a watch on your body language(Head movement, Hands movement etc.) when you are talking to others
   3. Act for the identified areas to improve and get on to practising them

8. Sense of Humour – It’s observed that confident people are fun-loving. When I say fun-loving it does not mean insulting or pulling someone’s leg. They enjoy jokes and always wear a smile on their face. They don’t feel shy to crack a joke about themselves too to bring a smile to others’ faces.

Tips to have a better sense of humour:

1. 1. Practice the jokes which can be used in conversations
   2. Watching comedy shows can better your humour timing

9. Action – This is the most important attribute for building your confidence. All the attributes would work when they are taken into action else possessing them would not make any difference to your confidence. Action makes you better, you practice whenever you act with your skills and learnings. Your skills and learnings can advance with practice only. As they say:

“Action speaks more than 1000 words”

Tips for being a better action taker:

1. 1. Do what you don’t feel confident doing
   2. Do actions with your learning
   3. Participate in group discussions, activities & sports etc.
   4. Take a calculative risk in your life, this will help you to be more confident

10. Focused on what went right – Confident people tend to focus on what went right in all situations. They always try to find good in all situations. Negative things also come their way but they don’t hold on to them. They see the positive side of situations and try to find hidden opportunities in everything. They believe in:

“Whatever happens, happens for the best”

Tips to be focused on what went right:

1. 1. Writing only 2 good things that you have done throughout a day can help you to focus on positivity. Your day may be worst but you can still find 2 good things from that day.
   2. Try to find out a good reason for all the situations 
      

Conclusion :

You must have a better outlook to look at Self-Confidence and its importance. Now, you also know better why our self-confidence is what it is today. Furthermore, you have seen what you can lose if you don’t exhibit your self-confidence when it is required with a real-life incident. Attributes and tips for building each attribute required for Self-Confidence have also been shared in this article. Now, this is the time to act and bring out your hidden Self-Confidence to the real world.

If you found this article worth reading. So, please leave your comment and share it with your friends or colleagues who need this article for the betterment of their Interpersonal skills. 

Cheers!!!

MK Mauryavanshi